What the rest of the world can learn from India

DISCLAIMER: This is a sarcastic take on stupidity we all see around us on a day to day basis.

  1. A sense of responsibility:

There is no need to install security cameras and deploy law enforcement in your area. The free-loading auntie who makes up more than half of your neighbour population does the job of surveillance for you. Worried about not being seen with your boyfriend when you two meet near your house? Well, don’t be as aunties are always to the rescue and don’t worry if you’re being molested or eve-teased by a local scumbag because nobody will mind that and you can easily add more experiences to your list of horrifying encounters every day. Plus there is an additional advantage of getting your character questioned after your encounter with molesters, by none other than the aunties and their husbands as well all because one time, you let your boyfriend come to your house, whose rent you pay. “Personal Space” who needs that? “Living in an ultra-conservative society with no freedom of thought” or expression, Hell yeah

  1. A friendly attitude:

Human beings make mistakes; it is our nature to be forgetful. So what we don’t throw our garbage in proper Dustbins? So what that deep down we chose our Government on the basis of caste and religion? So what if we bribe and ask for it to make a process in-efficient or totally corrupt in the long run? Its ok, this kind of thing happens. We don’t get worked over stupid stuff like saving the environment, regulating pollution in our nation’s Capital. “Right to Breathe” who needs that? Do you know that our Soldiers stand at the tallest of mountains where there is so little supply of oxygen? We only get out of our safe zone bubble when a really big epidemic hits us directly like when our Friday nights are destroyed because of some movie which is not being released but again we don’t bother much.

  1. A sense of sacrifice for our country:

We are Patriotic. End of Discussion and it is a very good quality. Everyone in our country considers giving their life in service to the nation, literally. Don’t believe me? Well, the NCR region of our country suffers from pollution level which is downright toxic and is expected to lower the life-span of everyone living there by 10 years. I mean we are not only planning to die quickly by working daily in our daily 9 to 5 jobs at the age of 50 but also we are ensuring that most of our children can easily suffer from lung problems for the rest of their lives. Competing in athletic sports like football and swimming and winning our country a gold medal in Olympics. No thank you, with the pollution levels rose so high we have also made sure that our athletic prowess downgrades as quickly as the sacrifice of our literal lives ascends.

  1. Protection of women:

Nobody can protect the women in their country like we do. We take the matter of protection of women very seriously. We make sure that they stay within the safe space of their home because by not providing value quality education to a huge chunk of our population, we have created millions of unemployed, uneducated and ill-mannered young males thus exposing them to a life of no work and a potential career in crime. But fear not, we have made sure that our women stay indoors most of the time. Those, who do go out are called inside before it gets dark. If in any case any women choose to stay out a night, work late, or reach home late then we have the previously mentioned neighbor to shame that women so she feels guilty and quits her job to stay indoors and for those defaulters who still choose to go outside after dark, well even God only help those who help themselves.

  1. We are tolerant beings:

Canada may have his freedom of expression for everyone, but it doesn’t have what we have. Let me explain this by an example. If an Indian buys a car by paying all the necessary amount including taxes and somehow the suspension of the car gets broken very soon due to bad roads for which he also paid taxes for then he will happily go back to the store, purchase a new suspension setup by paying all the taxes necessary without even considering all the wrongs being done to him. We are such gentle beings, but everything has its limits and it should. So if you decide to do something really outrageous like express your opinion on something then you have a storm coming but as I said, in the beginning, we have freedom of speech as well, just do as you’re told, don’t question what’s being done to the law and the country, follow every new law made without considering its impact on millions of people and everything will be fine.




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